29 October 2007

Coach

What a relaxing and fun week in Colorado. It was a nice little get-away. Getting there and back went as I expected. I have bad airplane karma. I am a magnet for the loudest, most obnoxious, needy passengers. I am like the pied piper of problem people... My first flight out of Boston to Cincinatti (God forbid I ever get a 'direct' flight that does not make stops!) was definately the worst flight winner for the trip. I may as well have been flying out of Salt Lake City there were so many little rug rats around. I sat in the aisle seat next to a guy who had his four or six or so year old kid. He was an "omigod i'm alone with a kid whadoido panic" kind of guy and the kid was playing him from the start. 'I don't want my bag, I need xyz out of my bag.' 'Hold this- That's mine don't touch it!'(scream) The silly fool jumped at every demand which lead in turn to the kid maximizing on this new-found power. The bouncy kid in front of me who was standing on her chair pushing all the buttons- which flight attendants loved oh-so-much :(> She would blather at me incoherently and drop stuff on me and mommy sat beside her reading her book like it wasn't even her kid. Across the aisle we had the nuclear family with mommy, daddy, toddler, and baby. Daddy was on the aisle and in charge of the baby, who of course, was teething and crabby. So daddy had to stand in the aisle and bounce the screaming baby for most of the flight. Lucky me, the guys @ss was in my face for practically the whole time, and the kid was leaking profusely. A couple of times the sopping fist she had shoved in her mouth between wails would come out and grab at my hair. Delightful. Behind me were the eight to ten year old cousins/friends/weird family members on a trip with their moms who sat in a different row- lucky them! They played games the whole time at the top of their lungs, and kicked the chair almost constantly. The final joy was the older kid in the nuclear family ended the flight by barfing as soon as we landed.
Coming home there was a lovely brutish twenty-something guy in ripped jeans and a backwards Red Sox hat who bounded down the aisle and proclaimed with his Southie accent that I was in his seat. I said, "no, this is my seat," as I showed him my ticket. "NO! I don't sit by the window, I sit on the aisle. You're in my seat!" "Today you do because I am in the correct seat." So, of course, he brooded, fussed, and fidgeted the whole flight and got up like four times to go to the bathroom.
Oh, the joys of traveling coach! Thank god for my i-pod and the ability to sleep in those tiny little chairs!

2 comments:

Michelle L. said...

Ah, the joys of flying coach.....my last flight I was in a row with a surgeon and a lady who was some brand of christian that was opposed to blood transfusions. She tried to debate the surgeon through the whole flight, and he kept trying to talk to me so he would have a reason to ignore her. But, I would have gladly taken that over the kids. Gak. Some day, I'm going to get kicked off a flight for passing out benadryl.

Shannon said...

I was trapped in a (non)conversation by a religious nut on a flight a few years back. No matter what I said or how loudly I professed to not give a shit he just would not let it go. I think I would have taken him again over all those kids though! I'll have to bring some Benadryl laced snacks next time :)> Good thinkin'